Good Language

At a recent weekly class meeting, the use of inappropriate language was introduced. The observation was that some children use words that sound inappropriate. During our discussion, some children shared that this language originates from songs they or others hear away from school. Because other children sing them, they hear them say the words. After a short discussion, the question was raised, “Is this language acceptable?”

 

One child asked, “What if you hear it from your friend?”

The children answered, “Don’t copy it.”

One child added, “It is not because it is your friend that you copy it.”

I asked them, “What can you do?”

Someone answered, “You can say to your friend that we don’t use inappropriate language at school.”

And I added, “Anywhere. It is not only inappropriate at school, it is inappropriate anywhere you are.”

 

At school, we encourage the children to use language that promotes understanding, respect, and unity. Even at the height of their frustration or excitement, they are in no way excused from using inappropriate or insensitive language. When they feel aggrieved, they are encouraged to bring the issue to the other’s attention. If they cannot resolve it, they should bring it to the attention of the teacher, who will help them resolve the issue.

 

I always remind the children how our early ancestors were able to develop a language, whose goal is to allow people to relate intellectually and/or emotionally.  The children realize and appreciate that language is used for communicating information and emotions. They are learning that they should use words they understand and that can heal hurt feelings.

 

One of the children asked, “What if you do not know that what you are saying is a bad word?”

Another child answered, “If you don’t know the word, look it up in the dictionary or ask the teacher.”

 

As an example of how children find new words, we discussed popular music. Lyrics of songs can slip into our vocabulary through many sources. Unchallenged, these new words can cause problems on many levels when relating to peers. When I introduce a song to the children, the children listen to it first. Then we read and talk about the content of the song. We take up the song line by line. We clarify the meaning of any word that the children do not understand. There is no part of the song that is left unclear. In this way, when we sing the song, we sing it with delight and understanding.

 

The children have learned that they should always speak and act with respect. So, what if they forget to monitor their language when they are with other children? We, the adults who hear it, should make a choice. Should the children be allowed to have a different moral standard because they think they are not within the hearing distance of an interested adult?

 

From age six through twelve, aside from having a hunger for knowledge and the need to associate with others, elementary children also are developing their moral standards. The children are learning to discriminate between the good and the evil. Maria Montessori said, “…An inner change has taken place, but nature is quite logical in arousing now in the child not only a hunger for knowledge and understanding, but a claim to mental independence, a desire to distinguish good from evil by his own powers, and to resent limitation by arbitrary authority. In the field of morality, the child now stands in need of his own inner light.” (To Educate the Human Potential, Maria Montessori, p.4.)

 

This need for an inner light in the elementary child does not mean that we leave the child to his own discernment. The adult now has an even greater role to fill. We should engage their reasoning mind. We should help them understand the why's and how's of human interaction and relationships. It is not going to be easy, because these children, who before were affectionate and loving, are now giving retort to everything we say. The task is not impossible if we recall what we believe and share our own moral standards generously.

 

Nieva Armstrong