The Joy of Responsibility

How do we teach our children responsibility? To many of us, this seems like a challenging task. So I would like to follow up on Lindy’s previous blog and describe the same events that have blessed her young children in the primary class from the perspective of my upper elementary children, age 9 – 12 years.

With the elementary age child, the sense of responsibility and morality are very important foci of development.  We spend a lot of time talking about what it means to live in a community: in the class, in the school, and in the larger community.  We talk about what roles and responsibilities we have as the oldest members of the school community to help others and set a good example.  A large part of that includes service work. 

We already have different service opportunities for the children.  We volunteer at the Armed Forces Retirement Home up the street twice a month helping the live-in residents play Bingo.  Many of them would be unable to play without the help of the students, patiently pointing where to place chips or gently guiding their hands.  We also have a rotation of volunteers in the primary atrium, reading scripture booklets, helping the young children stay focused and guiding their work.  Some students volunteer in the nap room, rubbing the backs of children trying to fall asleep or giving the children extra practice in learning their sounds and other skills.  In each one of these service activities, the elementary students respond readily to whatever the need is.

During December, we took our regular opportunities for service within the community a step further.  We performed a Christmas concert at the Armed Forces Retirement Home. While we do not have a regular chorus program, the students nevertheless spent two weeks practicing songs, learned to do a choral reading of “The Night before Christmas,” and planned a short program of Christmas songs for three of their classmates who study the violin.  Upon arrival at the Home, the children were excited to talk with residents that had been wheeled down early.  They performed with focus and selfless abandon, while residents were singing along, tapping their armrests, and smiling with delight.  Many came up afterwards to tell us, “It was the best Christmas Concert I’ve ever seen!”  The children were touched by the joy they had brought to others.

In our school community, my upper elementary students hosted the rest of the school for a cookie-decorating day.  It was wonderful to watch how organized they were.   The Sixth Graders were responsible for getting the cookies and icing ready.  I brought in a stand mixer and my grandmother’s sugar cookie recipe and was prepared to bake all day.  I got them started, and when I came back to check on them, they were done:  all the dough was made and they were already divvying up cleaning tasks in the kitchen.  The next day, again, I prepared myself for a day of baking, and again, I was unnecessary.  They had set up an assembly line type action in the kitchen.  One was in charge of rolling dough, one cut cookies, one transferred them to the cookie sheets, two ran the ovens and cooling racks, and the rest provided entertainment and made sure the kitchen didn’t get too messy.  It was one of those sought-after Montessori moments when children don’t need a guide anymore- they are in charge, take full responsibility, and can do everything on their own. 

Finally, the time had come to host the cookie day with the school community.  I made an announcement to the class explaining that we had to move all the furniture in the class, set up tables in the kitchen, and go over rules for how to organize the decorating and visitors.  Within ten minutes, the classroom was ready to go.

The first group of volunteers headed to Lindy’s All-Day primary class and came back hand-in-hand with a primary child.  They helped get aprons on, choose and decorate cookies, wrap them up carefully, and then walked the child back to the class room.  The students had spontaneously organized themselves into groups.  One line was a line of volunteers, waiting to assist the next available younger.  Another was the line of children waiting to decorate their cookies, but making sure that they didn’t squash out the younger children there. They were more than happy to wait and let the younger children go before they had their turn.

I looked around the classroom.  I saw the faces of the primary children, excited at the undivided attention and a little nervous to be in the big kids’ class.  I looked at the faces of my students, happy and confident to be helping younger children.  And around the classroom, there was a sense of joy suffusing everyone.  It was a magic moment within our community at work.  Maybe it was the icing and sprinkles everywhere or the Christmas music playing in the background; or maybe it was the sense that everyone was excited to be helping others instead of thinking about themselves.  But what really struck me was my students’ demonstration of how learning to be responsible can be a joy.

Mary Hanyok